Like a Horse and Carriage

Written November 12, 2008

My host sister has been engaged for as long as I’ve known the family. when I arrived for my site visit last November, I was told her toy (wedding) would be held in March, right after her 17^th birthday. I was a little askanced at the age, but different times, places, and cultures. At any rate, the wedding was postponed several times. Weddings here are expensive and it takes time to gather up the funds.

As I left for turkey, I was told that the wedding would be held on the 20^th of October. I was a bit skeptical, as this was about the 4^th date I had been given. So, I went off to Turkey with my parents expecting to hear of another reason why the wedding would be delayed. Instead, I got back to Mary in the middle of a massive preparations.

For the girl’s toy, 400 people were coming to my house in the village to eat, drink, make toasts, and dance. On Sunday, I spent at least 4 hours stuffing peppers and cabbage leaves for soup. Pretty much all the relatives were enlisted. Neighbors were preparing Russian salads. Two cows were being slaughtered and a singer was brought in from the city. I was frankly overwhelmed. The festivities began about 7 pm. We ate, and I took lots of photographs. The dancing lasted until about 1 a.m. and then we did dishes until the wee hours.

The next morning was the Gelen Algy. This is a ritualized ‘claiming’ of the bride. The groom’s family and friends form raiding party. I’m sure in days past this was on horseback through the deserts, but now it’s done in Ladas and Camrys. The bride’s family meets the groom’s and tries to obstruct them from reaching the bride. The groom’s people have to bribe their way foreward with gifts of money, candy, hankerchiefs, and other such things. Also, there is a band playing.

Then the groom comes out with the bride. A Turkmen bride traditionally decked out is a site to behold. She wears an elaborately embroidered coat, covers her head completely, and has silver brooches and jewelry (weiging up to 20 kilos) all over her. She doesn’t speak. The groom’s family has to buy the bride’s shoes. My host sister’s cost 200,000 manat. I am told this is quite expensive, but my host sister’s worth it. The night of the Gelen Algy is the Groom’s toy. This party was held in a restaurant in Mary City, but it had the same food, fun, dancing, and photographs. Good times rolled. I made a toast to a bright future, many children, and good health, and I do wish that for Leyla and Dowlet.

That concluded the direct wedding related festivities, but a week after the wedding I had to attend a Gelen Cagrygy. This is a meal that the bride puts on in her new home for her unmarried female relatives. It gives us a chance to check in on her and make sure she’s alright. It was a lot of fun, and I could tell my host sister enjoyed being mistress of ceremonies. I took more photos. If the internet is moving fast enough I will be posting them, but we shall see. There will be another Gelen Cagyrgy at my house sometime next week or the week after. I am told that will be the end of the wedding related events.

It’s been a bit of a head trip, but one that I’m glad I got to take.